Over the years of dating and relationships, I’ve wrestled with the ideas around two concepts that seem to conflict and interact at the same time in reference to the topic of love and loss. The question of which one makes more sense after parting from your partner has crossed my mind many times. Often feeling like an exercise in quantum mechanics thought processing – two things can be true.
– Distance Makes The Heart Grow Fonder
– Out of Sight, Out of Mind
Sometimes truth and relative facts fall into place long after conversations have ceased and fires have long since cooled. The ashes remind me of what once was but also what could have been…and with hope of what will be. To ignore them, helps no one move forward. They must be processed and cleared away before the next fire can be built. With time and quiet contemplation, I’ve found that in fact both ideas are true. Or can be. Depending on what we choose.
Out of sight isn’t exactly out of mind unless a choice is made to ignore or suppress. Denying oneself true feelings is often a faulty fix. Potentially unsustainable.
Distance may make the heart grow fonder but hopefully full with appreciation for self and lessons from loss of love rather than a longing leading to suffering.
After more time spent on this work, I like to think that distance makes the heart and mind grow clearer. The idea of a next step will need a fresh foundation on which to build the next sustainable fire. Whether it be a reconciliation or a new flower to bloom.
About the image: the image for this post was taken of a frozen lake in Norway via National Geographic. A symbolic representation of love for me. Something that may seem to have split but in the thaw of Spring, the water will flow without any evidence of the once rigid surface. Love is like water. Necessary, fluid and forgiving.
Thank you for reading my philosophically inclined noodlings. A true romantic heart can guide interesting ramblings of the cerebral mind. And like the photo, this is just the surface. There are so many interpretations and ideas possible.